First off, let me preface this by saying I’m not advocating that you send your child to school with an apple martini for his or her teacher on the first day. But if you know where he or she lives, you could always consider dropping it off at his or her house during happy hour. Trust me, it will be needed after the first day back!

As kids around America are going back to school, I feel it’s my obligation, as a teacher, to caution parents about the teacher-apple phenomenon. By the spring of my first year of teaching, my desk had produced a massive harvest of apples – apple coffee mugs, apple jewelry, apple notepads, apple stickers. You name it and I think I was given it. I’m not trying to sound insincere, but within just a couple of years of teaching I had accumulated enough apples to satiate me throughout my entire teaching career. Now hear me out, I’m not proposing a ban on apple-giving entirely. My girlfriend Deb bought a beautiful crystal, pink apple key chain for her daughter’s teacher, which I would have been thrilled to receive. Rule of thumb… Avoid apples made out of plastic, apples which say things such as, “#1 Teacher”, cheap apple jewelry, and apple coffee mugs – you get the idea. (I hope!) 

Now the only exception to all of this is if the child finds the tacky apple item, without any parent involvement, and not realizing it is tacky, thinks his or her teacher will love it - This negates everything in the first paragraph and do buy it because it truly is the thought that counts.

So here are the top 5 teacher gifts of all-time

(This is all my personal opinion, of course!)

#5 School supplies - Regardless of what anyone says, teachers are not paid enough money. I can say this unbiasedly, as I’m out of the classroom right now working at the district-level. I remember how much time, energy, patience, and money that I freely gave for my students. It’s like being a parent. You never know how hard the job is until you actually do it. Schools have a ridiculously low budget for supplies (Thanks Arnold!). So when you get the long list of supplies asking to be sent in - no grumbling…smile and know it’s going to the best cause of all, your child.

#4 Coffee – The first day of school, I make sure to ask my son’s teacher the most important question of the year - “What is your drink of choice from Starbucks?” Throughout the year (usually when I volunteer), I surprise my son’s teacher with a Starbucks. Teachers are stuck in our classrooms all day. We barely take time to run to the restroom to pee during the school day - any treat from the outside world is treasured. (And if you reject my advice in the first paragraph and still feel compelled to buy the apple coffee mug, at least tuck a Starbucks card inside.)

#3 Gift Certificates – There is no better gift for a teacher than a gift certificate. It may seem impersonal to the giver, but I guarantee you it will be the best gift he or she receives. Find out the teacher’s favorite restaurant, place to shop, hobbies, etc. Some people are not spa people, so before you spend a bunch of money for a massage, you’ll want to know if it will even be used. A group gift certificate from the class is even better. Parents end up spending less money than they would if they bought a gift individually and they don’t even have to shop!

#2 Books – Most teachers I know love books. Find out what type of literature your child’s teacher is passionate about or have your child pick out a book for the classroom. Many teachers have wish lists for books that they are dying to have, but they can’t justify buying them in this economy. And if you’re having a hard time deciding which one to get, a gift certificate to a book store will surely be smiled upon.

#1 Personal Note – I’ve been in education for thirteen years and have already been given the best gift of my teaching career. A few days into summer vacation, several years back, I brought the mail into my house and discovered a letter from one of my student’s parents. It was hand-written and several pages in length. I’ve kept it right inside my desk all these years. As a teacher, you teach because you believe you are making a difference in the lives of your students.  It is an amazing feeling to hear that told to you in the words of someone’s life that you have impacted – the best gift you could give and it’s entirely free!

Now I’m betting there are still a few of you that may still argue that the Appletini is the best gift of all – so here’s the recipe! It tastes just like the green apple Jolly Ranchers we loved as kids.

Cheers to the final weeks of summer – may you sleep in, stay in your jammies entirely too long, and savor the final committment-free moments with your kiddos!

Jolly Rancher Apple-tini

1 oz. vodka

1 oz. DeKuyper’s Sour Apple Pucker

1 oz. -2 oz. apple juice

Add ingredients to a shaker filled with ice. Shake and pour. Garnish with an apple. I used a small flower cookie cutter to make an apple cutout. (I added a drop of green food coloring to this.)